Someone forwarded me a video that spoke about trust. I was compelled by their description. It closely describes how I feel every time I pull into an RV park. I’ve tried so many times to write this blog but never could pin down the right words. Even now as I write this, I know that it won’t make sense to many of you. At this point, I can’t imagine a time when we will ever be able to share a simple life experience with understanding. A moment when I can express with clarity a feeling of an experience and within that one experience, be able to walk you through my life to explain why I perceive that experience the way that I did. Yes, I know that sounds confusing.
Take a little time to ponder this before continuing to read, “A writer doesn’t know what he/she has written until it is read by someone else.”
A black person asked me recently, “What it is like to be Black and travel across America in an RV and are you scared?”
You may ask why I chose to say it was a “black” person that asked the question. It was only because of the last part of the question which seems to be a continuing question from my black friends, “are you scared”.
Being Black while traveling is the tightening of muscles anticipating anything; constantly aware, expending a lot of energy analyzing minute details of the surroundings, watching for signs, trying to interpret body language, reading signals, to be ready to react to anything, and preparing for possible disappointment and the need to leave at a moment’s notice.
It is only being able to relax after a warm greeting of hospitality. It is how the body can stand solid on the renewed feeling of acceptance, generosity, and warmth. It is something that should be natural but is oftentimes overshadowed by the constant negativity ever present in the world.
As the day turns to night the darkness hovers over you like a cloud of uncertainty. How stories are written and told present themselves with a constant narrative that hate lashes out mostly in the dark of night. Fear is merely the product of the unknown or more importantly the possibility - the possibility of indifference, of falsely negative twisted perceptions, and hate for no other reason than the color of skin.
Cognitive scientists try to understand not just what the mind does, but how it does what it does, and how past experiences are a key developmental aspect of how we will perceive the world around us. How experiences create both unconscious and conscious survival reactions during the process of adaption. It is such a heavy and unnecessary burden to bear just to enjoy nature. Good and bad people exist everywhere.
Learning to let go of fear affords a luxury not having to think so much or worrying about if danger exists before anything occurs. Constantly relearning how to relax and only focus on what is in the present.
Once again please ponder, “A writer doesn’t know what he/she has written until it is read by someone else.”
Fear of living is the same as being dead.
Thanks to Vonda Smith for edits.