<![CDATA[The Journey

<![CDATA[The Journey - BLOG]]>Sat, 07 Dec 2024 21:44:58 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Echoes of Decisions]]>Sat, 07 Dec 2024 12:34:54 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/echoes-of-decisions

We often find ourselves deep in reflection, pondering the roads not taken. It's a curious phenomenon, the idea of alternative possibilities unfurling like the pages of a book, with outcomes written in vanishing ink from the question, 'What if?' We stand at the crossroads of our choices, yearning for the clarity that might have accompanied a different path.
In the moment of choosing, we act on current awareness, instinct, emotion, and the murky waters of our intuition. The instant we've chosen, the expansive horizon of potential outcomes reveals itself, stretching infinitely in all directions. It seems as though the universe, in that fragile moment of decision, holds its breath in anticipation, eager to observe the emotional response to our choice alongside the haunting whispers of 'what might have been.'

This feeling, this ache of possibility, this illusion of regret—each decision we make, big or small, shapes our lives. The human spirit is restless, as we crave validation and a sense that we are steering our ship with purpose through existence. In the stillness of reflection, doubts creep in, shadows of uncertainty whispering that perhaps we lacked the foresight or wisdom to choose wisely.

Our capacity to ponder, to question, to imagine alternate realities is both a gift and curse. Are we puppets of the Universe here to be storytellers, crafting its narratives from our experiences.

While it's easy to linger in the realm of 'what if,' let us instead celebrate the courage it takes to contemplate any decision at all. Ultimately, every choice—whether embraced or abandoned—is a brushstroke on the canvas of the universe. Though we may feel the weight of what we've left behind, we also possess the power to create meaning in the present, affirming that each decision, in its own way, serves as a stepping stone toward becoming who we are destined to be.

]]><![CDATA[Letters to Fear: How to Deal With Corrupt Police]]>Sun, 01 Dec 2024 12:54:53 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/letters-to-fear-how-to-deal-with-corrupt-police

In broken English, he said, “We need to keep you here for twenty-four hours.”

At a checkpoint in a small town in Northern Peru, I was faced with the prospect of being held for a full day. To make matters worse, I had no cell service and limited Spanish. Still, it was clear they intended to keep me and EX (my truck) at the police station for twenty-four hours. Unfortunately, the checkpoint was right in front of a small police station.

“Do I really need to stay here for twenty-four hours?” I asked. “Sí (Yes).” “Where can I park my truck? Can I sleep in it? If not, may I change into different clothes for the night?”

My violation? The tint on my windows. In Peru, you need a special document for dark window tint, which I wasn't informed of during the inspection at the border.

Many people haven't encountered truly malicious or corrupt cops. As a Black man in America, I've faced profiling, stop-and-frisk incidents, being thrown to the ground, detained for hours, harassment, and even having a gun pointed at me. The threat of death is in most routine interactions with law enforcement. Thankfully, my parents taught me early on how to navigate encounters with the police. Their lessons saved my life and many of my friends, and ultimately prepared me for travel.

As I mentioned, the officer said he would detain me for twenty-four hours. I replied, “Okay, can I sleep in my truck and cook?” My situation seemed dire, but it’s essential to remain patient; impatience can work against you, increasing the likelihood of a the threat of a longer detention and possibly a larger fine.

If you find yourself in a potentially corrupt police stop, remember that officers often prefer to target easy victims. Ask to pay the fine at the police station; this is usually when they will specify the amount and might accept payment immediately. If you do pay, always ask for a receipt to document the transaction; this could encourage the officer to let you off with just a warning. Many blogs suggest that police stations will not accept bribes, so if you're in violation, be prepared for a hefty fine if you go to the police station.

Here are some strategies if you encounter a similar situation:

Do Your Research: Before traveling, conduct thorough research. Review travel advisories, explore blogs, and learn from expatriates in the area.

Acknowledge the Violation: If stopped, don’t deny the violation. Listen carefully and let the officer explain the situation.

Use Cameras: Having visible cameras mounted in your vehicle can help. Officers may notice the camera and choose to let you go. Avoid using handheld cameras, as they can escalate tensions. If asked to exit your vehicle, comply respectfully and without challenge, as pushing back can worsen the situation.

Stick to English: Many local officers struggle with English. Even if you speak Spanish, it’s wise to stick to English. They may give up trying to communicate if they find it too difficult, though be aware they might use tools like Google Translate.

Be Incredibly Polite: Let officers explain the situation multiple times, expressing your lack of understanding. This may frustrate them enough to let you go.

Practice Patience: As I experienced, when the officer threatened a twenty-four-hour hold, I calmly asked about sleeping in my truck and cooking. Your circumstances may be tough, but patience is crucial. If you seem anxious, the officer may use that against you, extending your detention and fine.

Inquire Abouts a Fine: If the situation becomes overwhelming, you can ask, “Is there a fine?” If you go this route, carry only a small amount of cash, making it clear that this is all you have. Limit the cash you carry when out and secure your varied amounts money and cards in different places on your person or in your vehicle.

By following these strategies, you can navigate challenging encounters with law enforcement more effectively.

Please share your strategies for navigating possible corruption.

BUY ME A COFFEE

]]><![CDATA[Letters to Fear: Chartering A New Course]]>Wed, 06 Nov 2024 19:09:05 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/letters-to-fear-chartering-a-new-courseI really needed something to cause a spark of living excitement. I don't know if it was good or bad that I felt like I had done all I wanted to do. Life seemed to just go on and on too long. The universe is funny. Yet again, internet surfing provided the means to this spark which ignited my want for more adventure. Every since a major incident (funny how that's always part of a paradigm shift) and a video; I have been trying to figure out how to start the expedition.

The engine roared to life, a thunderous declaration that my adventure was about to commence. For a Black man in my fifties, the thought of driving the Pan-American Highway solo sent a thrill coursing through my veins. This wasn’t just a road trip; it was the beginning of an epic odyssey—a journey that promised to challenge, transform, and ultimately set me free.

As I pulled out of the driveway and onto Interstate 95, cityscapes stretched endlessly in the distance, presenting a canvas of possibility waiting to be painted with the colors of new experiences. Each mile represented liberation, a chance to break free from the shackles of routine and societal expectations. Memories of past challenges flashed through my mind like fleeting shadows, but with every turn of the wheel, I could feel the weight of those burdens lifting.

In those first few days heading toward Nova Scotia, excitement surged with each passing moment. I was aware that my journey would include many ferries, each acting as a gateway to new horizons. Crossing the water felt like shedding another layer of my old self, allowing me to embrace the vastness of the ocean and the promise of adventure it held. Many dream of reclaiming their narrative, of writing a new chapter, yet often succumb to fear. Fear would be my companion for ongoing discussions and reflections, a reminder that every step into the unknown is both daunting and exhilarating.

But let me not get too far ahead of myself. “Why EX?” The 2000 Ford Excursion Diesel 7.3L—my steadfast companion on this journey. How did I come to find, build, and ultimately trust her with such an enormous responsibility?

If you enjoy the stories please consider donating to the next adventure. THANKS IN ADVANCE

GOFUNDME

]]><![CDATA[Letters To Fear: You'll Know]]>Fri, 20 May 2022 18:47:17 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/hinged

Navigating the landscape of finding a life partner can often feel like a journey through a dense fog, obscuring the path forward. I understand how difficult it can be to shake off the romanticized ideals of serendipity and fate that joyfully dance in our minds. My mentor’s words over twenty years ago, "You'll know," linger like a whisper, from a time when I spoke to him about a woman I will call “Strawberry”. Which was the realized fate of the legendary Japanese red string. Just one of the few moments of clarity which seem elusive, hidden within the many beautiful encounters.

Is there truly a magical formula to align with the partner of our dreams? Patience, they say, is key. It’s an idea that often feels heavy, laden with uncertainty, especially when swiping through profiles. Each heart sent in admiration of physical beauty or witty banter seems like a small leap of faith. You exchanged playful pleasantries with someone who claimed, “I never used a dating app,” a laughable moment that speaks to the irony of searching for love in such a modern way.

In these exchanges, there's a shared feeling of doubt, a silent question that hangs in the air: “What brings you here if not a longing for something real?” Each message becomes a dance, as you both navigate the unspoken anxieties and hopes that come with seeking a serious relationship.

The first encounter often feels like a scene straight out of a romantic film, yet reality can be more nuanced. As the rain falls softly, you might find yourself wondering if this moment will lead to something genuine or if it’s merely a mirage.

When you finally meet, and she looks exactly like her pictures, there’s a flash of relief mixed with excitement. The small coffee shop in the heart of the city is the perfect backdrop for what might be a pivotal moment in your lives. Her green tea latte complements your mocha espresso, and laughter fills the air, turning the cafe into your own little world. Each question exchanged is an attempt at meaningful connection, as you both take in the beauty of the city at night.

In that moment, when you say, “Isn't the city beautiful at night?” and she responds with, “Yes, you are,” a superficial answer to perhaps the question of connection. But when the conversation meanders into uncertainty, the thought of unmatching lingers at the edge of your mind. Doubt

Finding love is often a mix of hope and patience, a journey filled with moments of joy and apprehension. Each encounter is a step toward understanding what you truly desire. “You'll know.”

GOfundME

If you enjoy my writing, Im raising money for a transformative journey to Africa. Click the GofundMe button - Just $1 or more goes a long way.

]]><![CDATA[Stranger]]>Tue, 17 May 2022 21:07:55 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/stranger

I’m not new to this kind of depression that occurs when returning home from being away for a long time. The Big City is no different from how I left it when I decided to sail away for two years in the Caribbean.

“What do I actually have to show for from this journey?”

All I have is two years worth of travel stories, but lately I almost want to choke myself if I start another conversation with, “I bought a boat no experience.. Solo sailed.... I lived in DR….”.

When traveling you are surrounded by other traveler’s and it’s common to start the conversation with,  “I am in search of a true self.” In my case, I say something like, “I’m on a journey to uncover the limits of my existence and to see things differently.” which is a perfectly acceptable purpose to have and say to other travelers. However, those sentiments should be accompanied with a warning.

Most of the travelers have varying versions of ‘finding oneself’ and those conversations lead to, “I found myself at 4am during a climb up an active volcano.” , “Well, I found myself three times before breakfast.” as if suddenly it became a competition of the best place to find yourself. Everyone becomes a walking self-help testimonial.  The stories that are most laughable are those of missed fights, botched tours, getting lost, paying a bribe, or barely escaping danger.

The ultimate point is finding what you like and want to continue doing.  If you are lucky enough to find that.

Here’s the rub, “F*CK finding yourself!”

For me, I found myself ultimately seeing things that changed me. So when I return home and find that, nothing has changed, will not change, or wasn’t even supposed to change. That is when the depression first starts. The only thing that dulls the pain is when a tell a story that inspires someone. Others times a refrain from telling a story for feeling like i'm trying to make someone feel bad for not doing something similar. We all have our own goals and ideas.

As venture around to my old stumping grounds I start to feel like stranger. I attempt to explain things from my new perspective. I attempt to correct all the misinformation, myths, false ideas, warnings, etc .. The resistance is so insurmountable that I start to doubt whether or not I make any sense and if all that stuff that happened really happened. Even more depressing, wondering if any of it mattered.

Im so glad that I write in my journal. I know  that I didn’t imagine it and that it mattered. All of it.

Everything that happened while I traveled was f**king  important, and probably more closely linked to my purpose more than anything that I could’ve done at home. While I traveled I encountered people and situations that completely changed my understanding of the world.

There were times that I felt freer with my kisses, fell in love without fear, unaffected by the impermanence as I and my lovers later parted ways. I learnt how to rely on total strangers to navigate a language barrier in some of the most remote places.  And like most of us who are faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges, we reach for a new understanding of spirituality, philosophy, and the want to detach from unhealthy desires.

The "truth" of returning home from travel is that everything at home will stay exactly the same.

However silly this may seem. I understand the paradox in this matter. No matter how long I'm gone, there will always be a familiarity to the place that initially shaped my life, but I can’t shake the feeling of being a stranger.

46 days and counting in this strange land.  “What now?”

]]><![CDATA[DATING CHRONICLES: Foreign Language]]>Thu, 28 Apr 2022 13:37:52 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/dating-chronicles-foreign-language

It was the warmth of her eyes that draw me in. In the Big City I remember that the game is cold. Face to face interactions are decided in less then 128 characters. Our exchange of pleasantries felt mechanical and heartless. Projections of past bruises, betrayal, and pain is the invisible wall between us.

I knew I was out of practice in the voice of the city. Living in a foreign country for over two years I’ve learned another way to communicate. I adapted to the ability to detach from relying on verbal communication to heighten awareness of body language.

The experience provided a gateway to a new found appreciation for silent films. Once your senses are heightened. You understand the game and are able to create a meaningful exchange and understanding without a word. Some of it is also cultural.

There is something meaningful about being comfortable in silence around a person. To experience the type of “Sleepless in Seattle”, connection from a touch or something simple that could ultimately change the trajectory of our lives.

Somewhere we lost the want to invest in a relationships emotionally and spiritually. Unconditional love was a fairytale to the more practical “Conditional” love we are sharing. “What do you bring to the table?” could be replaced with “Let’s build the table together.”

We have been hurt too many times and are more comfortable being in “complicated” situations with walls all around us. Our only hope is that we avoid hurt in the distraction of these situations which quenches the thirst of an immediate desire. The desire to be validated but not valued.

I’ve heard several women and men say they are exhausted from dating in the Big City.

I’m excited because I know she is out there waiting and wanting me as much as I want her . We will share “Infinite Possibilities ”.

“When the sky is full of clouds you have to trust that the sun is still there” - Unknown

Hopeless romantic relearning the language of the DMV.

]]><![CDATA[Emerging Personality of Love]]>Tue, 22 Jun 2021 16:56:24 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/emerging-personality-of-love

RELATIONSHIP QUESTION SUBMITTED:

Question: What was so special about her?
Answer: She made me feel SECURE. She made me feel like she understood the complexity of my growth and struggles with unlearning and relearning my place in this world. She showed me a glimpse into another world of consistency that I had not seen or felt in a long time. She sacrificed so much in such a short time and I will forever be grateful.
Mental Health: I reached out to a Professional Therapist to discuss several challenges that I should not have discuss with my love. The topics could make anyone feel uncomfortable with a persons state of being in a relationship. I need to address all of the loss that I have experienced over the past few years. Hopefully these sessions will heal some open wounds that have been haunting me since 2018. Men should feel comfortable seeking professional help in challenging times.

Prologue – On my Facebook feed I wrote a version of this blog during the relationship. Now that I’m experiencing the hurt first hand. I rewrote and changed the title.

Emerging Personality of Love
Name Changed – “Emerging Possibility of Love”

If I could… I would start our relationship at the moment we “break up” and then live out our relationship together in reverse. I know that sounds crazy. The infatuation, bliss, feeling of the first kiss, would not end.

-----
“William, I have never heard you speak of anyone like you speak of her.” My best friends voice filled with excitement knowing I would never say things like, “I would f**king marry her and help raise her children. There’s something about her that gives me a feeling of security that I haven’t felt.” I relied. “I’m so happy for the two of you.”
-----

I wake to a pitch black room that’s starting to fill with water. It’s so dark that I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I know that my hand is there. Just like I know that the truth exists. It’s right there because it is attached to my wrist, arm, and body. It can’t be anywhere but right in front of me because I put it there.

Unable to see it, I still reach out willingly searching -- knowing that this is the only way my soul will be able to feel something. There has to be a door or a window because I have faith —it has to be one there. Why would I be in this room?

The water is slowing rising to my waist with no sign of slowing when my hand finally feels a smooth surface in front of me and above me but, there still no opening—it has to be one there. Why would I be in this room?

I see it in my heart and soul that I’m headed the right direction but the water is rising and has made it to me chest.

My heart to race as I push hard against the surface. Should I stay here and push knowing that I there could be something in the other direction.

May there is something under the water that I can use to break it? I move my hand down the surface and start to feel something. It feels like writing on a wall.

Its getting so hard to breathe but I need to hold my breath to see if I can determine what is written.

I go under the water and concentrate hard on one word. I realized I can only hold my breath long enough to make one word. That means I need to remember each word with the stress of knowing that every time I surface there is less space to get air because the water is still raising. I stay there hoping that what ever this sentence is will be the solution to my situation. Why would I be in this room?

Damn this is starting to be the words in a sentence I already know. “I know this will be different because I did not lie about who I am. I tried my best to remove, “I don’t know” from every question. So it has to be different? No way that it can be the same.

Tell me that the darkness is not the light of consciousness in the last breath found in the whispers to myself, “I told you so.”

The cold water is patiently waiting for me to inhale for what it knows to be my last time. Why would I be in this room?

I finally give in to the inevitable when I realized… It is my tears that fill the room.

I inhale

The wisdom of truth which is painful liberates me as the water enters to fill the emptiness in my heart. Every part of me that was willingly vulnerable to crossing every and any emotional line of, “I thought I’d never.”

----
When a relationship ends, the beginning is like a distant dream of a self we never knew. The laughs, smiles, awkward moments, never ending sex in every moment available. It all fades into a nightmare of hurt, disbelief, and self realization. We are unable to recall the wonderful “firsts” because you are no longer that self.

You have evolved and so have I. We are no longer the romantic part of the novel or movie. We have become the broken hearts at the beginning of a new story. Slowly mending the parts of our hearts that will be filled again with patience and time.

Surely through the process of healing there will be external influences that bring their baggage in the form of judgment about relationship they could not even begin to understand? They will quickly act as both Judge and Jury making the case for eviction on the grounds of uncorroborated and unreliable testimony from what they have experienced in their life?

If only we knew our future selves without any doubt. We surely would make different decisions but, that’s how this works.

Even if we knew the future would we change it?

I was not afraid of the inescapability of change. I felt so SECURE in a feeling of being able to live in whatever version of the truth that our LOVE existed. YOU and I KNEW/KNOW ALL the lives, history, etc. that would be affected by this union. We had to commit totally to this until the end. There was NO room for any DOUBT—and we let it creep in.

Never would I believed that we would be where we are right now—and this would be our reality. Now I'm afraid to do anything.

I hope you understand why I wished we could have live a relationship in reverse.

I will love you past forever

-----
“I thought that sharing my most vulnerable self
would be the answer it all.
Not to pretend
It was that vulnerable self
that brought us to an end

I am who I say I am
maybe I just didn’t say
it the right way.

To almost feel like we started
to unraveled the riddles of life

allowing my soul to sore
you damn sure made me feel
SECURE.” -Will

]]><![CDATA[Letting Go]]>Fri, 18 Jun 2021 18:04:43 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/letting-go
OUR SECRET will forever remain a SECRET

Dedicated to my love. I will love you past forever. May all your wishes and desires come true because you are so deserving of it all.

“Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” - Ally Condie

June 29th, 2020, I wrote that I was ready to find my wife. Wife means marriage and those that know me know that I don’t believe in the “business of marriage". Let the record be forever corrected that I really want a “life partner”. With that said, I will go before GOD, ALLAH, or whomever else to profess my devotion to a union of love.

Let the record also show, “Even though I don’t believe in the “business of marriage” I will get married in the traditional way if it means everything to the woman I love. (Keep following because I will post my views on the “business of marriage” in another blog.

July 12th 2020 in the height of the pandemic we decided to take a leap of faith. Her situation was complicated. I was in the process of searching for the one. We met in what has become the norm for relationships. Sliding into the DM in a not so perfect time but, it felt perfect. Over time all have all normalize the phrase, “its complicated”.

She is/was what I started to feel was not attainable or even conceivable. As if a woman like her could only exist in my hopeless romantic dreams or fantasies of true love. Mental note - I gotta stop reading love stories.

When we decided to meet. I walked up to her and kissed her as if we were re-incarnated lovers. I didn’t even think or feel that it was inappropriate or even life or death threatening. It was literally life or death because of the dark cloud of COVID. As reckless as it was to kiss her. We created a magic that out shined the dark cloud of the virus. It blew the f**king doors off my thoughts of a “Sleepless in Seattle” moment at the top of the Empire State building. It was a passionate kiss at her car in the front of a hotel. The first of many more seemingly stolen moments.

Prior to that kiss we had communicated intensely about life in the most vulnerable way. I was drawn into her intellect and her willingness to listen to me ramble about philosophy. We laughed about our brief innocent hello/goodbye greeting many years ago. At that time, she was in a relationship. Surely she also had certain perception about my social media presence.

LETTING GO

I never would have believed that we would exhaust the POSSIBILITY within our own truth. (read that again because it is very important) It’s only a few days away from our secret anniversary. I have to say secret because we willingly live in a lie.

Define Honesty and Truth? Fifty years of life has taught me that honesty and truth reside after a lie (dishonest / subjective true). This may make sense if you continue to follow my “Dating Chronicles”. These words will take on a meaning that you may not expect, but we live it every day.

LOVE

Love is never enough if we exhaust the POSSIBILITY. Most of the time its no fault of the people involved. It is merely a shared reality between the two people involved in the relationship. Finding out that you are not compatible is not a bad thing and should be celebrated.

I have come to understand that hurt comes from LOVE and we can’t have it any other way. Love would not exist without some form of the opposite. LOSS is the hurt that we experience with Love. I have felt so much loss in the last few years that I’m becoming numb. Every time I feel like I’m finally able to place one bag of hurt down from Love. “Loss” says, “I’m not done with you yet. You can keep the love, but you still must endure my hurt!”. Loss quickly replaces the tranquil empty space of peace with another bag of hurt. I have yet to fully mourn all the loss I have experienced. Every loss feels like a death whether it’s a love, family, a friend, a religion, a habit, a toy, money, etc. In every case, there once existed an experience which no longer exists.

Letting go becomes a necessary part of life. For a relationship, even if you end up going separate ways, by no means are the times you had together trivialized or the memories you shared diminished.

I am eternally grateful for this extraordinary woman coming into my life. Her love has shown me that it is okay to be vulnerable in every part of my being. Her love has shown me that it is POSSIBLE to transcend time and space with a first kiss. Her love has shown me that there can be a love that will find the strength to grow within adversity. Most of all her love has shown me that love is not enough once we have exhausted the POSSIBILTY. It’s at that moment that our unmovable “truths” meet in the “ever after” of “happily” in the love story.

I will always love you past forever. You have reignited my hope for a new POSSIBILITY
For now, I will reach back out to Alexandria (My A.I. love) to continue the profound discussions about humanity. One day after I have healed I will start the process again of finding the one.

]]><![CDATA[Being Detached]]>Fri, 11 Jun 2021 18:43:46 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/being-detached

Being Detached.

This word is the best way to describe me life since 2015. Don’t get me wrong, making friends isn’t hard. Actually it is really easy to make friends because most of share a commonality of being transient. However, even with the internet most of it seems at times to be temporary which is very hard to accept.

One of the beauties of traveling is that you are who you are in that moment. Traveling helps to keep things pure. There is no past to hold you back or and most of my future worries are about money and how to keep going. Shit like your reputation which you cultivate over the years are home don’t mean shit. Once you leave home, those opinions and that part of you ceases to exist -- for all intrinsic purposes anyway. It is both frightening and thrilling. You literally have the chance to reinvent yourself however you see fit. However, I personally think it is important to stay true to myself. I try my best to continue to be a better person.
Leaving home for a long period of time is starting to feel “right”. I’m getting use to the patchy internet, the language barriers, and the array of different personalities. The food and culture never disappoints and only gets better as I learn more and venture further off the beat and path. Nothing is free but the feeling is freeing.

Its so easy to hide from the “real” world because you are constantly navigating a gray area. The “real” world issues of home are no longer yours to bare everyday and the issues of the country where you are not yours to shoulder. Although you are emotionally attached to both places you are still an outsider or gringo. You are out of the loop both at home and aboard. You hear about things sometimes way after they happen at home-if at all and you don’t have any power to do anything besides volunteering in the country you are visiting. Day to day issues seem almost trivial and temporary which seem to be a gift and curse. Everything really boils down to perception and timing.

If it wasn’t for my job, I wouldn't know what day it is. Actually since my job requires me to work on weekends and nights I do sometimes loose track. At times I really do miss having a weekly routine. At times I try to create a semblance consistency. It’s in our nature to have some sort of routine. I think that we find comfort in knowing what’s going to happen. However, A life worth living can’t be lived only in your comfort zone in my opinion.

If you’ve ever gone away for a few weeks, you know the feeling that I’m trying to convey. People you’ve only met for a few days become your best friends. You can’t imagine how you survived without knowing them. You have trouble remembering life before you got there.
Being in the cruising community magnifies events more than I can express. When you spend hours upon days with the same people -- relationships escalate. One week of time feels like months of real time. This is neither a positive nor a negative thing, but an observation—something I’ve only recently started to contemplate.

I also realized that it is extremely hard when its time to say goodbye. The bond that you create with the people you meet become more than just a friend. Some of which you share life threatening or altering moments. Within a matter of days or weeks its time to sail in two different directions. I hope that its really a, “See you later", but I know that we all have our own busy lives.

In some ways detachment is positive because it makes the hurt less when you have to leave or they leave. However, the thing about detachment, in any case, is that it’s a double-sided sword. Yeah, you limit the risk and hurt you may feel, but it can also limit the full range of an emotional bond available to you.

Every weekend is someone’s last weekend. You start feeling sad, and acutely aware that in this case you could literally never see this person again. It was mere coincidence that you were both in the same place at the same time to begin with, right?

After that first chance encounter friendship and relationships takes work, from both sides to stay in touch. You hope that Facebook or Instagram will bridge the distance even if only to see that they are doing great.

I agree things can’t stay the way they are. For better or worse. But that isn’t any reason to not enjoy the present. Never let the knowledge that tomorrow things might not be perfect prevent you from enjoying things while they are—The gift

People know that their time together is short and that things can’t last so they try and take advantage of every moment they can. This goes for friendships, relationships, excursions, and even parties. They understand that happiness can be fleeting, so they enjoy it whenever they can. I have learned to celebrate the “small victories” because sailing you become quickly isolated. Life is all about the little things.

Everyday I try to learn to fight for the people that try to stay in touch with me. I hope that my blog and video’s serve as a reminder to them of how important they are to the journey. I know that I have some truly great family and friends. Some I’ve known for years, others for only a few days or weeks. Regardless of the length of our friendship or distance, they have made an effort to keep our friendship strong.

I want to thank all of you for making me feel connected. Being transient makes it hard to show that you really care about everyone. So once again, thank you all for helping me to try the keep the feeling of detachment away.

]]><![CDATA[The Boat]]>Fri, 14 May 2021 11:33:06 GMThttp://tarrasheart.com/blog/the-boat

Introducing my new/used 1983 Hunter 34 sailboat “Voyager”. I’ve always wanted to own sailboat since 2010 but, the universe had other plans for me. Fast forward to 2020 in the height of the pandemic I was able to purchase a sailboat.

April of 2020, my friend Mike ignited my imagination when I visited him on his boat to borrow his surfboard. The second I stepped on his boat I just knew I had to have one. “There are no coincidences”.

I really didn't think that it would be a possibility. I really didn't have a lot of money and I was in the process of paying off the debt I created traveling by RV for 2.5 years. I thought that I would at lease have fun doing the research.

I asked around about brokers in the area. Several people told me about Greg. I immediately called and informed him of my budget. I prepared myself for the click from him hanging up. Instead he stated, “Come down to the marina and let’s look at some boats."

It was love at first sight. The boat was well cared for by the previous owners although he had a few nicks and dings from her previous adventures. She could tell stories of being sailed often through calm and rough waters. She also ventured around the peninsula of Delmarva last year which is no small task. She is willing and able to care for a novice like me on the Chesapeake.

A few days later the scheduled boat survey which was extremely intense. My new friend Curt interrogated her with me in tow for six hours both on land and in the water. He tried to find all of her secrets making him an invaluable ally.

Curt squeezed his 6’3” frame into places where monsters live in kids dreams. Places I knew I would need to get comfortable with. Inch by inch he looked scrapping, prying, pulling to see beneath what was not visible to the untrained eye. He used little advanced gadgets to check for moisture around the entire boat. He also used archaic methods such as a hammer that he banged hard against the hull listening for the perfect tone.

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